Saturday, April 29, 2006

Poland: A Cursory Examination

Poland: is 94% Catholic. The other 6% are Catholic.

Polish: A social experiment funded by Post Cereals where 50 million people are armed with de-voweled boxes of Alpha-Bits and encouraged to drink heavily and make up their own language.

Official Unit of Currency: Old Woman Wearing Babushka.

National Letter: L with a line through it.

"Butterfly" by Crazy Town: National anthem.

Polish women: Mostly adorable, sometimes actually men.

Minorities: Oil.

Poles: Water.

Pizza: Well-liked.

Motorists: Brazenly homicidal.

Bikers: Brazenly homicidal.

Pigeons: Brazenly homicidal.

Pedestrians: Obviously suicidal.

Sounds of neighbors having very loud Polish sex: Inescapable.

Threat of foreign invasion from any direction: Constant.

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