Monday, January 19, 2009

Writer's Strike

We at Expatriate Act would like to apologize for the prolonged dearth of content on this blog, spanning from the afternoon of Friday, September 5th, 2008 to the morning of Monday, January 19th, 2009. This four-month blogo-lacuna was the fallout of an unforeseen breakdown of negotiations between the author, one Keith Petit, and his Handlers. What transpired might be termed a writer's strike, although it is unclear exactly against whom the author was striking, seeing how he is chronically unemployed and does not earn an income from any of his various and assorted (and sordid) vocations.

In addition to the usual gripes about wages, union representation, pseudointellectual property rights, and placement of inflatable mattress, Petit's bimonthly writing routine was disrupted by mechanical setbacks. There were difficulties uploading the data from his analog typewriter to the World Wide Web, likely stemming from a failure in the 2400 baud modem he had welded onto the back of the ink cartridge. Petit also expressed frustration with the blog-eat-blog world of the Blogosphere, disillusionment with his blogceleb status, and an undisguised loathing of the word "blog." It was also apparent that the US presidential election was having some adverse effects on his psychology, as he was unable to articulate himself for much of the fall of 2008 in anything but the frothiest of incredulous coughs and gags.

The author is doing much better now. He is drinking lots of store brand V-8. He is growing his hair out to prodigious lengths and heights. He spends long hours watching videos about microbiology. He is also nursing a stray cat in the backyard. One can only speculate as to why Petit is on the rebound. Doubtless a change in political administration along with the collapse of international trade have had some salubrious effect on him. One might even suspect that he is getting laid, but one look at the chalk-streaked corduroy suitcoat he sleeps in will rule out that possibility. Perhaps his Nordic physiology has finally come to grips with the fact that winter does not occur in Mexico. Or perhaps it is simply a technical issue: we have upgraded his analog typewriter to a 1986 Apple IIe computing machine, complete with lower- and uppercase letters, a floppy drive, and Oregon Trail. Whatever the case may be, there can be little doubt that Petit's muse is back. We look forward to reading his next entry.

See you in two months,
-The Handlers

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